After I left treatment, I felt like a misfit. I remember standing in the cereal aisle at the grocery store, completely frozen, unable to think or speak. My eyes slowly moved from box to box as I desperately tried to pick a cereal that didn’t scare me, that wasn’t a threat, that didn’t feel like “too much.” The harder I tried to decide, the more scared and nauseous I became. 

Hope…there is hope for recovery.

I know this. I want to share this message with the world. I spent years of my life held prisoner by the lies and intrusive thoughts of anorexia and bulimia. I no longer live in this place and I want you to know that there is hope for recovery. How, may you ask, is this possible? This is a question that only your journey to recovery will reveal to you. However, there are valuable tools that we all can share to uplift one another along our own journeys. 

I have a confession to make: I despise checking the news. It seems like every time I turn on the TV or radio, or log on to social media, there is another act of violence, hate, or terror being reported, not only in our country, but around the entire world.

There’s no denying that breakups are always hard. It can take months—even years—to completely heal and be ready to move on. When you have an eating disorder (ED), it can be even harder. It’s easy to be overwhelmed with negativity and self-doubt, which can trigger your ED behaviors in order to cope.

Growing up with anorexia, I came close to losing my life. Several times. I remember the first time my eating disordered thoughts began. I was seven. 

I am blessed with an amazingly loving family. But even so, something in my brain told these me thoughts shouldn't be shared. That they were true, they were mine, and I needed to deal with them on my own. Little did I know that that is the nature of the disease: shame, secrecy, silence. 

"Dear KJ" is a monthly advice column by Dr. Kjerstin "KJ" Gruys, sociologist, author and body image activist. She holds a Ph.D. in sociology with a focus on the politics of appearance and is the author of Mirror Mirror Off the Wall: How I Learned to Love My Body By Not Looking at It for a Year (Avery Press, 2012).

After tossing and turning all night, the sun will smile through the window to welcome us to a new day – calling for a fresh start. Every day and every moment, we are presented with a new opportunity to start again. We are able to start again from the mistakes we may have made, the tasks we were not able to accomplish, and the negative mindset we may have had.

If you’ve ever sought treatment for an eating disorder, then it is likely that you’ve also struggled with insurance coverage.

Treatment centers nationwide are filled with tales of patients having their inpatient stays cut short because their insurance deemed them “medically stable,” of families who refinanced their entire lives to treat their loved ones, of women and men who bounce in and out of hospitals because they can never stay long enough to make real progress.

In recent months, I have discovered the comforting gift of meditation. As someone who rarely ever gave myself opportunities to slow down, rest, and find peace within my mind and body, this discovery has and continues to offer me peace. Meditation is truly a practice. It is something that I work toward every day in order to transfer it into all areas of my life. 

We know how tough it can be to create recovery goals that empower and challenge, not overwhelm or disempower. We asked our followers on Facebook and Instagram to share their goals and words of inspiration for 2017. Check our 17 of our favorite responses below! 

1. “To be honest about my recovery with myself and others.”

2. “To work to create a life outside of treatment that is worth living and motivates me toward recovery.”

3. “To be patient with my recovery. To recognize that baby steps forward are still steps in the right direction.”