“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” — Maya Angelou

Merriam-Webster defines resolution as determination or a course of active decidedness. When struggling with an eating disorder, self-destructive behaviors can sometimes be mistaken for resolve. However, once you decide to turn toward recovery, resolution and determination shine like brilliant stars, illuminating steps worth taking and the truest form of existing beauty: the authentic, empowered you.

One of the most difficult decisions I made during my own recovery turned out to be the most important. After struggling extensively with anorexia, a roller coaster of shame-filled bingeing and starving ensued. One day after reaching a new emotional bottom, I stomped to my bedroom wall mirror, stared into my sobbing eyes and said, “No more.” I made the decision to pursue a happy and fulfilling life, free from weightloss attempts.

Treatment is critical to overcoming an eating disorder and we know there is no rapid cure or single step assured to help all who grapple with disordered eating and body hate. But, there are countless ways to point ourselves in the right—i.e., the healthiest and happiest—direction. With 12 months of commitment to recovery behind me, I had multiple rewards: I was no longer bingeing, starving or dieting, felt and appeared lovelier to myself and others and, most importantly, had gained self and body respect I’d lacked. It was the beginning of forever self-acceptance.

The most influential steps my friend, Bethany, took while recovering from bulimia was to distance herself from friends who placed excessive value on appearance and forge stronger kinships with supportive loved ones. Another friend sought therapy to end her compulsive dieting and traded her weekly weight loss support meetings for volunteer work.

Chances are you know what your own ideal maneuver is better than anyone. While pondering it, your internal butterflies likely flap their anxious yet hopeful wings, begging the question: What if? With New Year’s upon us and too many Americans setting unhealthy, futile weight goals, why not aim for something greater? What if you let those butterflies fly free?

Once you commit to positive change, you may face naysayers, particularly by way of negative self-thought lies: “You’ll end up fat. Mediocre. Worthless.” Don’t listen. Refute them. Yell back if it helps. Use your frustration as fuel. Seek as much help and guidance as you need along the way. Whatever you do, forge on; your life and wellbeing are far too precious for surrender.

As someone who’s overcome an eating disorder I can tell you with certainty that the rewards for recovery are more wondrous than you can possibly imagine. They don’t come quickly or easily but over time, all you now find daunting will evolve into glittery gold. That gold, I’ve learned, is powerful.

People who’ve surpassed eating disorders share a special kind of beauty, compassion, strength and gratitude that derive from finding your way from utter darkness into light. When we stand together locking smiles and eyes, we feel like sisters and brothers, which I believe we rightfully are. As we move into 2014, we would love nothing more than for you to join us. You don’t have to be fully on the recovery path for a spot at our table. You merely need some healthy (read beautiful) resolve and the courage to believe you possess the wings you perhaps can’t yet see. You never know how far they’ll take you until you try.