What are some things that can help with the struggle and recovering? Some things that maybe you haven’t considered?
For me, music is something that has saved me many times, and I think everyone has some songs in their lives that have made them feel understood, or empowered, or less alone in the world. Art, in general, is amazing in its power to do that.
At the acme, or should I say the depth of my struggle, I had others helping me, but I also knew I had to do a lot of the work on my own. I needed to grieve, and feel scared, and feel empowered, etc. Music was able to take me to all those places - and even more cathartic, was to write the music myself.
As a singer/songwriter artist for many years, I have been able to use music to express what I’m feeling. Over time, in the process of writing, I also realized that maybe my own struggles and healing process could help other people. If I had my way, no one else would have to go through this; but knowing that others are, I thought of how my words or melodies might be helpful to other people anywhere in their own battle. That enabled me to find the strength and stamina to carry on, both in personal growth, and as an artist.
A lot of the eating disorder goes on in our own heads. It can feel like you’re trapped in there. As a music artist, I have often been wary of showing much vulnerability. At some points in the music I’ve written, I’m talking to another person, at others, really to the thoughts in my head. I’ve never openly talked about that part. I explored that especially in my latest single “Fearless,” which is about overcoming. It's our own minds that often mess us up, when we tell ourselves that we're not good enough, or we don't matter, or that everything is our fault. Part of the healing process is learning to choose one thought over another and to start setting new pathways to drive home the fact that we are worthy, we are beautiful, we do matter. Always.
My message as an artist is about living the life you've imagined. Often that means overcoming certain internal or external battles. I have struggled, and every day choose to move in a healthier direction. I've learned that our scars can be a lighthouse for someone else. That concept has been a revelation to me.
With the current political climate, a lot of people are experiencing intense fear. For those with disorders, it can trigger a need to “control” something amidst the chaos. To control our bodies with the disorder, when really it ends up controlling us.
If you get to a moment when it's really getting to you, where your progress is threatened by the eating disorder voice, I urge you to put on something like my song "Fearless" and allow it to say aloud that you won't let anything bring you down, that the past does not have control over you, that you are strong and fearless. Hearing those words and saying/singing them out loud is a powerful way to combat that which tries to bring us down. Or try writing or creating some kind of art to help express yourself and also work out your feelings.
Art can be a way to untangle from ourselves and step toward the light. Music, movies, TV, theater, paintings, books, poetry, etc. have existed and thrived throughout time because they can make us feel, can provide an escape, can give a voice to things that are noises in our heads, can make us laugh, or dance, or cry. Everyone has their own story, and their own way to overcome the disorder. But if there are some easily accessible tools that can aide in the process, how beautiful it is to find them. And as an artist, how beautiful it is to provide them. To anyone reading this, know there is hope.
Al-x is a charismatic and passionate LA-based singer, songwriter, dancer and guitarist who uses influences of pop, acoustic and electronic music to create a unique hybrid for herself. Her music has gotten major placements on “The Young and the Restless” and in independent films. Please see more info and check out her music on her website www.alexmusicsite.com and download your copy of the empowering anthem ‘Fearless’ here!
