I’m home from college for the summer. I am recovered from anorexia and have been in solid recovery for a few years now. I’ve gained quite a bit of weight in college. My mom is constantly telling me that I need to lose weight and giving me dieting tips. She made me join an app to count calories, which was a huge struggle when I was deep in my ed. My parents don’t let me eat snacks after dinner, even if it’s a healthy snack. Both of my parents know that I had an ed, and they were the ones who made me go to treatment when I was in high school. I know that I could stand to lose some weight, but I’m worried that I’ll slip back into unhealthy patterns. I’m 22 years old and it just feels ridiculous that my parents are still trying to control my weight. I feel like I’m not in control over anything in my life.
Hi and welcome to the forum> I am really sorry to hear how your mom is behaving. NOT GOOD. But you know that. Anyway for you to tell her this is not good for you and your recovery? That even though your weight might be up you still struggle with the eating disorder and she is causing you harm? I would tell her that using an app is definitely detrimental to you and suggest but not telling you what to do, to not use it if it is such a trigger. Can you explain this to your mom? Are you living at home for good? Maybe seeing a family counselor and getting help in boundary setting. It sounds like your parents are very controlling and that may have contributed to the eating disorder in the first place? I do not know because I don't know you but from what it sounds like it sounds like you have difficulty even breathing the way you want to breath? I may be over exaggerating the situation as I don't know the full story but I would really try talking with them about how what they are doing to you is bringing up the past when you were anorexic. By the way, congratulations on your years of recovery. That is awesome. But you want to stay recovered and having your parents doing what they are doing is detrimental to your spirit. How are you feeling about your weight gain? Does it bother your parents more than you and why is it bothering you? That makes me a little protective of you even though I don't know you. I really hope you can sit them down and have a heart to heart with them and be honest with them and tell them exactly how you are feeling about what they are doing. And how it is affecting you. I hope you can do this and if you need help I would have a friend sit with you or get a counselor and have them help you. I wish you the best and hope I haven't come on too harsh. It is because I care and don't want to see harm come to you.
iwanttolive
It's such a change in your lifestyle when you come home from college. First and foremost, there are your parents right in your face. I'm the parent of a college student and when she comes home for summer, like now, there's a significant adjustment period. You and your parents likely have the same goal for you: to be mentally and physically healthy. However, that doesn't mean you have the same definition of what that means. I agree with iwanttolive that if at all possible you should have an open and honest discussion with your parents. I find it almost hard to believe they would be pushing you toward a calorie-counting app. That's not in any way healthy for someone in recovery. That's why I advocate the open and honest discussion around defining goals, agreeing on some definitions, and garnering the kind of support you need from you parents in order to be successful. I find that when my daughter speaks openly and honestly, we all benefit, and as her parents we can provide better support.
Hi Rach1313-
Just wanted to welcome you to the forums and check in & see how you've been doing the past week or so? I'm so sorry that you are experiencing this upon returning home from college. As a recent graduate, I know it always threw me off to come back home and have to be back with my parents 24/7 and the ways in which the family dynamic/they were triggering. Congratulations in the progress you have made so far in your recovery- I think it's good that you are aware of what is healthy/unhealthy for you in the recovery process, and want to guard against relapse. I agree with the previous posters in that it sounds like an open discussion would be helpful. Do you feel comfortable expressing to your parents how calorie counting/dieting is not a smart idea for maintaining your recovery? Keep us posted on how you're doing, we're here for you <3
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I'm so glad to hear that you've made significant progress in your recovery from anorexia, and I commend your strength and resilience. It's essential to prioritize your mental and physical well-being during this journey.
I can understand how your parents' concern for your health may come from a place of love, but it's equally important that you maintain a sense of control over your own life and well-being, especially as you've been in solid recovery for a few years now. It can be frustrating to feel like your autonomy is being compromised, especially when you've come so far.
If you ever find yourself in need of support or guidance related to your recovery or maintaining a healthy lifestyle, you might want to explore resources like SystematicReviewPro.com(https://systematicreviewpro.com/write-my-dissertation-for-me/). They offer a variety of services, including systematic review writing services, which can be useful for individuals looking to gather evidence-based information on topics related to mental health, eating disorders, and recovery. While not directly related to your situation, such resources can provide valuable insights into research and best practices in the field of mental health.
Remember that your well-being is paramount, and it's crucial to communicate your feelings and concerns with your parents, letting them know that their support is appreciated, but you also need the space to make decisions about your own health. Balancing your recovery and maintaining a healthy lifestyle should be your choice, and you should feel empowered to make those decisions for yourself.
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