Last February, I finally told my family about my six-year struggle with an eating disorder, and I decided to pursue treatment. It was terrifying but I knew I needed it. Even though it was my choice, I was really freaked out.
I had never talked about my eating disorder with anyone before, and in the span of two weeks I ended up telling more people than I can remember—doctors, therapists, friends, my parents, intake specialists. It was all very overwhelming.
Stephanie Covington Armstrong doesn’t fit the stereotype of someone with an eating disorder. And that’s exactly why she wrote her book, Not All Black Girls Know How to Eat: A Story of Bulimia. Armstrong is sharing her story in an effort to expand the public’s perceptions of who struggles with eating disorders and poor body image.
We caught up with her to talk about myth-busting, what it takes to gain true confidence, and why she thinks our cultural obsession with celebrity is hurting us.
Jessica Smith, an Olympian, a motivational speaker, and a social media figurehead, has a long list of impressive accomplishments that trail her name. The newest one? Children’s book author.
One would never guess that someone like Jessica, with a grand history of success, would have faced so many obstacles in her path. Born missing her left forearm and later suffering from severe third degree burns covering her body as a young child, the concept of body image was one that hit close to home.
It is widely recognized that there is stigma towards mental health (vs. physical health) problems. The perception is that many people with psychological disorders somehow “choose” to have them, that it's their “fault” for being “weak,” that they could just “pull themselves up by the bootstraps” and “snap out of it” if they wanted to, and that they deserve less empathy overall.
“I think there’s something seriously wrong with me,” I tell my twin brother after our morning junior high school choir practice.
I sit on the ground in the hallway, my head in my hands, gulping down air and gasping as I can’t breathe. Waves of nausea wash over me. I shiver and tremble violently.
“I feel sick. I’m really scared,” I continue to tell my brother.
My body starts to feel like pins and needles. My chest hurts. My vision gets blurry. I feel hot and cold. Right then, I knew I was going to die.
For me, navigating school while suffering from an eating disorder was very hard. No one is watching you, and with a perfection-oriented environment it’s so easy for your eating disorder to creep in and take over.
But you can quiet the voice and take control. Every time I went back into school I never was able to finish a semester. Then I would judge myself more harshly because I couldn’t finish a semester. It was a bad cycle.
Blood, sweat, and tears. That’s what it takes to become a champion, right?
And then what? After you push yourself until you drop, after you win, after you abuse your body and mind to get to that one place you are so determined to get to, then what? Will happiness appear?
Selena Gomez made headlines last week for her announcement that she would be taking time off from touring. The reason? To focus on her “health and happiness.” Last October, Selena revealed that she was diagnosed with lupus, an autoimmune disease for which she underwent chemotherapy.
I was ten years old the first time I was fascinated by celebrities. I was in a grocery store aisle, immersed in a magazine determined to look like the women in these magazines no matter the cost. Looking at these images was not the sole factor in the development of my eating disorder but it certainly played a key component. I struggled with my eating disorder throughout my middle and high school years.
I didn’t start out as a runner. I started out as a girl who loved being outside with my sisters and going on adventures in our backyard. I started out as a chaser of many things including animals, sisters, and boys on the playground. Being active was a normal part of my upbringing.
