Summer is typically a season where sunny vacations, time with friends and family, and barbecues, festivals, carnivals, and pool parties seem to be the regular occurrence. For most people, it is a time to celebrate and relax.
But for those of us in eating disorder recovery, it is also full of unique challenges that those who have struggled can only imagine.
In my head, summer equals one thing… swimsuits. “Do I need new ones this year? I love all the fun, neon colors! What size am I? Let alone am I the same sized bottoms as I am tops?” and lastly, but most strongly in my head, “Will I even look “good enough” in a swimsuit this year?”
Summer is here, we finally made it! The sun is out, temperatures are high, and many beach days are ahead. For most, this is the best time of the year. However, summertime often brings many challenges and triggers for those in Eating Disorder recovery. Summer often means wearing less clothing, bathing suits, parties/BBQs, and so much more. For as long as I can remember, once summer is on the horizon, the conversations surrounding the perfect “Summer Body” become essentially unavoidable.
I’ve always loved summer. Maybe it’s because of my Southern roots growing up under the hot Arkansas sun, but there’s just something about a calming walk on a cloudless July day that fills my heart with joy and excitement.
I never thought I’d be afraid of summertime. I love summer. I love the warm weather, the late nights, the vacations, and the blockbuster movie releases. Some of my happiest memories were made during these few months. But since developing Anorexia when I was 18, my summer joy has been shadowed by a gray cloud of dread.
Challenging but worth it
Close your eyes. Take yourself back to a time where you felt pure joy in the summer.
Maybe it’s you swimming with friends, running through sprinklers, or jumping in puddles barefoot. Maybe you’re on a rollercoaster or soaking in rays of sunshine.
