As June hits, and the glow of the sun rings bright on my skin, I’m reminded of the dark times before I knew what recovery from my eating disorders looked like. Before there was any inkling of what the rays of recovery felt like on my face as I sit here now, bathing in summer’s serenade.
A car collision one Friday morning required that I speak to a very astute hospital nurse. This was the first person to notice the anorexia I had been living with. It wouldn’t take long for my family members to also discover my behaviors and, after a little nudging and encouragement, my recovery journey began.
But what does recovery from an eating disorder look like?
June; when the earth’s axis begins to be more equal.
Rushing to put our feet into the sand and finding the perfect location to catch the sun’s rays. I dreaded this time filled with endless barbecues, and events centered around foods that my eating disorder (ED) said were outside of his strict guidelines.
I am a wife, mother, friend and Sailor.
As far back as I can remember, I sought solace from the trauma of my childhood with the mystical magic of the ocean - Dolphins, mermaids, the infinite depths of the water brought me peace and hope.
It made sense that I would one day join the US Navy and spend two decades as a Sailor.
Like most of us, I experienced personal struggles and setbacks that threatened to steer me off course. I always found resiliency deep down and managed to navigate through stormy waters.
Recovering from an eating disorder is hard enough but it can be especially challenging when the general information and approach don’t necessarily fit with your experience. When navigating eating disorder recovery as an autistic person, here are some things to keep in mind:
1. Find a team that understands both autism AND eating disorders
Happy Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month!
This is a much needed spotlight on the mental health for all mamas in any stage of their journey through motherhood.
“1 in 5 women experience mental health concerns during pregnancy and after childbirth, but most go undetected and untreated” (Diamond, 2023).
“Have you ever had an eating disorder?” the intake nurse asked me.
It was an easy enough question, one that I would normally answer, “Yes.” But, on that day, sitting next to my husband in a large fertility clinic on Long Island, I felt compelled to lie.
“I used to diet. A lot,” I offered.
It wasn’t until she asked me to elaborate that I came clean. But now, over a decade later, I ask myself, “Why?” Why did I feel guilt over my past eating disorder while I was trying to get pregnant?
The Infertility Journey
Pregnancy is a vulnerable period for women with a history of an eating disorder. Pregnant women with an eating disorder may imply feeling increasingly out of control with one’s body and one’s life. Some pregnant women with a history of an eating disorder may describe the process as “chaotic, unpredictable, shameful, and a sense of a loss of control.”